Goonies Facts For Goons
As we begin to get used to socialising again it becomes apparent we've forgotten how to actually communicate with actual humans face-to-face.
But fear not! Your good friends at Off World have compiled some incredibly rare and fresh Goonies facts to pull out of the bag and fill the silence if it all gets a wee bit awkward.
Have a read and absorb the rich and detailed knowledge, then use it to cheat in social situations. Everybody loves a fact, and boy do we have some for you.
Release the kraken! The elusive Goonies octopus.
Did you know that our favourite 80s kids movie, The Goonies, was originally meant to feature a scene with a giant octopus?
The theatrical release of the film obviously doesn't feature any scenes with an octopus or kraken. However, it is referenced in-movie by Data at the very end of the film, where he says "Boy, the kraken was scary."
The scene was edited out at the last minute due to "complications" with the octopus. We're going to out on a limb (or tentacle?) and say that this was more a case of the special effects looking well, just a little bit crap.
But wait, there's more to this scene! Here's the full story and why it would have looked even crappier than you may be imagining:
The original screenplay had the kids falling into the pool containing the pirate ship and then wading through shallow water when they were attacked by a giant octopus/kraken. Like, massive. So to defeat this giant octopod, Data dives under the water and swims down to the giant mouth of the beast, where he places his Walkman.
The Walkman begins to play some kind of generic 80's hip hop, and the octopus was then supposed to breakdance out of the scene. Break. Dance.
Unsurprisingly, it looked like a pile of steaming goon dung and so ultimately ended up on the cutting room floor, but they actually filmed those scenes.
That means that this idea went past multiple people, people who were paid incredibly well to know what to film, and more importantly; what not to film. We're going to have a wild punt here and guess that large amounts of cocaine played a significant role in the decision making process there.
You can check out the video at the bottom of this page if you think your nostalgia can handle it.
The Pirate Ship
Richard Donner and rest of the crew went to great lengths to keep the actors from seeing the pirate ship prior to filming. In the final version of the scene where the kids slide down into the pool with the Pirate Ship, we see the actors' genuine reaction as it was the first time that they had actually laid eyes on One-Eyed Willy's ship in all of its beauty.
The Inferno, better known as One Eyed Willy's pirate ship was sadly destroyed after the film was completed. This makes us sad. The boat itself was offered up at the end of the filming schedule to anyone that wanted it, but no one claimed it, and so it was dismantled.
We can only think of one better way to have spent 2020/21, than to have spent it in space printing t-shirts, and that's to have spent it as captains of our own personal pirate ship with an absolute gut full of One-Eyed Willy's Pirate Rum!
Beyond the Call of Duty
The map used in the film to find One-Eyed Willy's pirate treasure was thought by production designer J. Michael Riva to look too new; and so great lengths were taken to try and make the map look more than 300 years old.
After trying to stain the map with coffee and tea, it still didn't look weathered enough. So J. Michael Riva stepped up, sliced the edge of his finger and smeared his own blood across the edge of map to make it look more aged. Now that's dedication!
The Goonies Had A Theme Song?
In what is quite a strange mashup, Cyndi Lauper co-wrote the theme song to the movie, excellently titled" Goonies R Good Enough" and a 12 minute, two part music video that included cameos by Steven Spielberg, Richard Donner, and the entire cast of the movie was shot!
We couldn't bring ourselves to go to YouTube and look for this video, just because in our minds, we can see it. And it ain't good.
As a nod to the NFL team that he used to play for, Sloth actor John Matuszak wore a Raiders t-shirt early in the movie.
Speaking of Sloth, you wouldn't have considered it, but the blinking of Sloth’s prosthetic eye had to be timed perfectly to coincide with the blink of the actor's.
A production assistant had to stand behind John Matuszak and count backwards so that the actor knew when to blink and they would synchronise the blinking of the prosthetic eye to match the real eye.
Nothing breaks the fourth wall more than wonky prosthetics, and the lengths they went to in order to create a realistic look for everybody's favourite monstrous hero are truly astonishing.
Throw Momma From The Train
You may have noticed that Sloth’s slide down the sail of the ship at the end of the movie mimics Errol Flynn's performance seen earlier in the movie (during the scene in which Sloth and Chunk are watching TV while chained up in the basement).
You may not have noticed however that One Eyed Willy's ship the Inferno is a reproduction of Errol Flynn’s ship from the movie Seahawk, which is the movie that they're watching in that scene. Or you may have noticed both these things, in which case good for you, but there's no need to show off.
Jeff Cohen, the actor who played Chunk in the movie, went on to star in several other TV shows, but The Goonies was the only live action film role that he had to date at the time of writing this article.
Richard Donner has since gone on to say that he regrets asking Jeff Cohen, to perform the truffle shuffle, but we say to that, "Shut up Richard Donner!". We still think this scene it is a timeless classic! The original mad lad. Who doesn't love Chunk??
While not a particularly detailed fact, we hope you appreciate this picture of Chunk's belly.
Do you know any good Goonies facts? Let us know!